Grace – Guiding GRACE

End It

A young girl sits in a cold, dark room. Tears stream down her red, raw cheeks. She quietly whispers to herself through her own muffled sobs, “How did this happen? How did I get here?” Then suddenly she hears those footsteps again. Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump. The lock on the door begins to turn and the familiar creak in the hinge echoes through the tiny room. She closes her eyes as tight as she can, but she knows it won’t make it stop. He’s here again…..and this time he isn’t alone.

Another girl sits in front of a mirror. The music is pulsating through every object in this tight and cramped dressing room. She looks herself up and down and wonders if the makeup will hide her true feelings. Her skin is covered in purple, blue, green, and yellow splotches – bruises and track marks – some new, some old – but each carries its own pain and memory. A single solitary tear runs down her face. She wipes it away quickly – she’s not allowed to “feel” anymore. She can’t afford to feel – it’s the only way she can survive. A gruff and burly man pokes his head through the curtain. “You’re on in 2!”, he huffs at her. Slowly her eyes move to the only thing on that table that can make her forget she’s there…make her forget she feels anything at all. Perhaps it’ll offer only a momentary high, but anything that can take away the pain is worth it to her now.

Back and forth another girl walks. Her feet pounding more pavement in a night than most people see all week. She remembers a song from her childhood, Chasing Pavements, but snickers as she realizes THIS is not what Adele had in mind. Quickly, she darts her eyes across the street to see if HE saw her momentary lapse of emotion. The mere thought of HIM sends shivers down her spine, almost as much of thinking of the next John to stop on her strip of sidewalk. This is not the life her mother had planned for her. It’s not even the life she had thought of. All she was looking for was a way out of her house and away from her parents – instead she found a way into her own personal hell on earth. And finding a way out of this hell seemed impossible; death itself might be a sweeter option, she mused.

These might sound like scenes out of a movie. But for far too many, this is a familiar daily occurrence in the world of sex trafficking. And it’s happening all around you whether you realize it or not.

Today is “Shine A Light On Slavery Day” – part of the End It movement. In support of this cause, you’ll see people wearing a red “X” on their hand. But this issue doesn’t just exist one day out of the year. For the people living it, stuck in the middle of it, for girls like these that I’ve spoken of, it’s every single day: 24 hours, 1,440 minutes, 86,400 seconds of a living nightmare.

Many years ago, in my younger days of working youth ministry, I was on an inner city missions trip to St. Louis. Our first night there, after all the kids were sound asleep, the staff of the Dream Center took the leaders out to help with their prostitution ministry. We spent time showing the women, walking the streets, that God’s love for them was unconditional – all while our driver kept an eye on the pimps with the van door open, prepared for us to make a quick getaway if need be. We finished the night, or should I say morning as it was nearing 3am at this point, in a parking lot of a strip club in Illinois, eating BBQ.

At the time, I didn’t think much of this experience outside of what it was on the surface – witnessing and sharing the love of God to those in the “sex industry”. But a couple of years ago, I witnessed one of the saddest things I’ve ever experienced.

While helping a friend look for a runaway, I saw first hand the people inside some of these seedy establishments we all know and pass by often, yet have never given them a second thought. I saw girls, impossibly young, not a day over 16-17yrs, so drugged they could barely stand upright, nearly if not entirely naked, selling themselves for a few dollars and a moment of dancing to men three times their age.

My heart immediately ached for these girls. I wondered how many of them had families who were desperately looking for them too? These were girls who had likely been lured away with the promise of a better life, their own life away from the parents they thought at the time they hated, promised a job and roof over their head – and before they knew it, they found themselves addicted and indebted to a man who not only didn’t love them, but saw them as property instead of a person.

I asked how this could ever be going on…right here in what I thought was a safe city…and why on earth were the police not here, breaking down the doors,to rescue these helpless underage girls?!

My world was quickly turned upside down as I began to hear story after story of how often their (the law’s) hands are tied when it comes to things like this. When fake/false identification is provided that can’t be proven otherwise – when probable cause must exist as well as warrants before they can enter these establishments – and even times when the law works against the girls and is harsher on them than on the perpetrators who put them there.

And this isn’t just happening in one or two places, or one or two cities; it’s everywhere. And whether you realize it or not, it’s all around you too! As you begin to notice the tell tell signs of an enslaved person, you begin to see it everywhere – even more so when events come to town where there is an influx of people. It’s not just frightening, it’s downright horrific.

What, you may ask, should you take away from all of this? Perhaps you’ve known of this already occurring in your city. Or maybe I’ve enlightened you to a world you thought was CHOSEN by these people “working” in it? What I desire you take away from this is that it’s time we no longer turn a blind eye to sex trafficking and slavery and instead choose to make a difference. Whether that’s praying for them, showing God’s love to them, getting involved in ministries helping them, or donating so others can make a difference- DO SOMETHING! Quit sitting idly by thinking this will never affect you.

I could certainly talk on and on about this issue. No girl should ever have to experience this – but those who have should know – IT DOES NOT DEFINE THEM! They are just as valuable to God as you and I are. They’re just as beautiful. Just as smart. Just as precious. They are worthy not only of God’s love, but of His sacrifice for each of us.

YOU can make a difference too by getting involved!

A21 Campaign – Founded by Christine Caine – they are setting out to abolish slavery and human trafficking – http://www.A21.org

Bochy’s Place – Founded by Carla Shellis – giving these girls, who have been rescued out of this world, not just a place to live and recover, but a foundation to build a life – http://www.bochysplace.com

When Everything Goes Gray

There’s always been something about thunderstorms that I love, but also hate. As the clouds roll in, bringing much needed rain to the land, they also bring a gloomy, gray blanket that seems to immerse everything within its reach.

As I laid in bed one evening this past week, listening to the thunder rumble in the distance, I started thinking about when things went gray in my life.

Let’s discuss a subject that has had so many talking lately – and frankly effects far more youth than I could have ever imagined. If you haven’t dealt with it yourself, you know someone who has.

Suicide

This is a topic I’ve never broached before. Not on paper. Not online. Not even in person. In all honesty, only one person in my life really knows all that went on and all that I went through (and even she might not know/remember some of the details I’m about to share). But I’ve had it on my heart for months now to share my story.

I can’t tell you what triggered it. I wasn’t bullied. There was no event that brought on the feelings. One day, my 10yr old self (yes at just 10 years of age), woke up like every other day – the difference came that night when I tried to go to sleep.

That night, when I turned the lights out and curled up in bed, it started. It was a quiet, little voice at first but when I gave it place, it quickly became the loudest thing I heard each night.

“No one would miss you”

“No one really loves you”

I had two parents who loved me unconditionally. A pesky little brother. Grandparents who thought the world of me. And a church and pastor that considered me their own. Yet all I could think about each evening was how I should do it and what I’d write in a note to leave behind.

I don’t quite remember how much time passed before I began to talk about it. But I do remember countless nights of insomnia. And I remember crying one night and my mother coming in and telling her I was afraid to go to sleep because I thought I’d die. It became so drastic a fear that I began to believe my own body would forget how to breathe in and out.

Here I was, a prepubescent child, dealing with a very (not to get overly spiritual) demonic spirit of fear and death. I was tortured with thoughts of killing myself (down to the details of what I’d use, how, when, etc) and yet in the moments I tried to find peace and rest, I was plagued with the fear of dying – of not waking up or forgetting how to breathe.

I’d like to say there is a magic answer to make feelings like these go away. Perhaps for some there is. But for me, there wasn’t. It was countless nights (months) of tossing, turning, crying, pacing my floor, and even actually writing a note out one night and sneaking in to my parents room as they were sleeping because I knew they kept a gun in there. My mother played a “Peaceful Praise” tape on repeat in my room each evening and she prayed with me often. I even prayed myself. I knew this wasn’t what God wanted for me – I found myself literally crying out to Him.

Months passed before the suicidal thoughts and fear of death began to subside.

I never fully acted on it. I never had any professional counseling. No medication. Frankly, in the early 90’s, it wasn’t talked about much and people didn’t go to counsellors like they do now. And unlike today, there were no wonderful female ministers teaching about your immeasurable value in Christ; No books about how God created you beautiful just as your are. No – It was simply the grace of God that saved me and the sheer determination of a 10yr old who wanted to live and not die.

I don’t know why I went through this all at such a young age aside from I truly believe: Satan wants to destroy anything and everything that could ever bring glory for the kingdom of God.

I’d be lying if I said the thoughts never tried to creep in after that. But I’m older and wiser now. I know where the voices of despair, depression, and death come from and I know exactly where they belong. I know that His word says He had a plan for my life before I was even formed in my mother’s womb (Jeremiah 1:5), that His plans are for my good not for my demise (Jeremiah 29:11), and that the spirit of fear doesn’t come from God because He gives us power, love, and a peaceful mind (2 Timothy 1:7).

I don’t know why I’ve had it on my heart to share. Especially to share something so personal that I’ve never even talked to my best friend about it. Maybe there is someone that needed to read it. And if it reaches just one person, then it is all worth it.

No matter how bleak things may appear. When everything in your life seems to go gray. When there seems to be no answer to the problems you’re facing. When you feel more alone than you ever thought possible. When the voices speak so loud you can’t hear your own. Know that:
You are not alone

You are valuable

You are beautiful

You are wanted

You are loved

You have a purpose

You have a plan

You are needed

You are alive

And know, it’s ok to talk about it. There is no shame – no stigmas – no condemnation. The torturous thoughts and feelings of suicide are no respecter of age, race, gender, religion, socioeconomic status, etc – it doesn’t matter if you are 10 years old or 100 years old. Talk to your family. Your friends. Your pastor. A leader in your church. A counselor. Someone you trust. Anyone. And if you feel you have no one you can talk to about it – call the suicide hotline 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255 or suicide.org). There is NOTHING so horrible that it is worth taking your own life for and you don’t have to face it alone.

Hello GRACE

When I wrote Cannonball Faith 517 days ago, I had no idea this is where it would take me or how many people my words, God’s words, would reach. I told God from the beginning, if I did it for just one person to know how valued they are, how precious they are, how beautiful they are, how loved they are, then I would know it was all worth it.

The Lord has shown me bits and pieces here and there, but it wasn’t until a year ago, when I filled out a card at my church for what I would like to volunteer/do, that I really started to see the big picture.

At that time, all I knew was that my heart was to work with the teen girls – to help them see that their invaluable worth in God is greater than they could ever know – to help them see what I couldn’t see myself as a young teenager. But when I was pressed for what that actually meant, I wasn’t sure. So I sought God for His direction with my heart’s new found desire.

It took longer than I expected – God seemed rather silent on the matter for more than a couple of months. But one night, I gave it all over to Him and found rest in His peace. And in that moment of surrender, I heard the word “Grace” – and just like that GRACE – Girls Rising Above Common Expectations was planted in my heart.

Romans 12:1-2 says to not only live a holy and sacred life, but to allow God to transform you instead of conforming to who the world thinks you should be. It is the foundational scripture for GRACE – don’t become who the world thinks you should be, become who God already knows you are. The world has so many pressures and expectations it places on our girls (and boys too): look this way, weigh this much, wear this brand, date this person, do this thing, etc., etc., etc.

I wrote out my vision, made it plain, and hid it away – sharing only with a few trusted people. One person I shared it with, whom I admire and trust very much, immediately said “You sound like Lisa Bevere”. That is perhaps the most flattering compliment I’ve ever received in my life!

Over the next 9 months (yes I see the irony in that), GRACE grew bigger and bigger inside of me even when things in the natural weren’t going the way I expected them to with it. In fact, in the natural, I was downright discouraged.

A dear friend posted the other day, “Don’t be discouraged when people don’t use you. Don’t quit because people don’t use you. Don’t question your calling or anointing because people don’t use you. Don’t crumble and break because people don’t use you. Push harder when people don’t use you. Seek Him more when people don’t use you. After all, I’m used by God and not people anyway! If people don’t use you it’s because God needs you somewhere else and that’s the only place I want to be.” -AO

This perfectly summarized how I had felt over the past 9 months but also poignantly put what I had done. When GRACE didn’t happen the way I thought it was going to, I went back to God and said, “I know this is Yours, not mine. So show me what I need to do. Show me what You want for GRACE.” And with that, Guiding GRACE was born..

The vision for Guiding GRACE grows bigger within me every day. The things God has shown me, and continues to show me, keep me astounded at God’s goodness in my life! I am so excited for everything that is still to come for Guiding GRACE, but for now, these small steps (that seem so huge), are the first steps towards all that God has for this big vision in this heart of mine.

GertieOnline is now GuidingGRACE!! The blog has already reached thousands of people and 36 countries around the world – and it’s just beginning!! God is so good!!

Every person that has left a comment, message, email, text, social media share, followed, and even your comments in person – every one of those has meant the world to me and helped me see that yes, THIS, was worth it all!

Look for great things in the future from GuidingGRACE and make sure to follow us on social media – Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter @guidinggrace or direct at http://www.guidinggrace.org

Don’t ever be discouraged because people aren’t using you the way you think they should. Be confident in what God has placed in your heart and press into Him even more – His visions and callings aren’t reliant on other people to make them happen, they’re only reliant on you and your obedience to Him.

The Kindness of a Stranger

Picture this: you’re having a bad day. Someone asks you a question and you immediately snap at them. Did they deserve that response? No. Did they snap back at you? Most likely yes.
Perhaps it’s human nature. Or how we’re raised. Or just our own selfish attitudes that immediately tell us to treat others how they are treating us.
Whatever happened to the golden rule?
Do unto others as you would have done to you.

We live in a world where being kind to someone for no reason, much less being kind when we’d rather retaliate, is nearly non-existent. And perhaps, dare I say, it’s even rarer to find among the Christian groups/people?
I found myself in this exact situation last week. I had received horrible news that morning that a dear friend, someone I loved very much, had been in a horrible accident and was clinically brain dead.
I mustered enough strength to make it through work that morning. But by lunch, all I could think about was getting away, if even just for a moment.
So I took myself to lunch. As I sat there, all of those emotions from the morning began to well up inside of me. Then after sitting there for 10 minutes with no waitress, another emotion came up: anger. I had a very limited amount of time for lunch and I didn’t have time to waste waiting on a non-existent waitress.
Shortly there after she finally showed up and I was quick to quip a snarky remark about it.
But she didn’t retaliate.
She apologized profusely and very honestly.
She never even hesitated to return my anger with genuine kindness of her own.
I left there thinking of this encounter for the rest of the afternoon.
That waitress had no idea what I was going through, the emotions I was dealing with. And not that it made my actions justifiable, but her kindness did something to me. It changed me.

I honestly contemplated going back by the restaurant after work to hug that waitress and apologize for being rude.
The Word says: A gentle answer deflects wrath, but harsh words make tempers flare. Proverbs 15:1 NLT
I’m still dealing with my own grief, guilt, and what-ifs over the death of my friend, but it doesn’t give me a free pass to take it out on others. And I know for sure, next time someone snaps at me, my first thought will be (or at least should be) – I wonder what they’re going through and how can I help them?
You never know – that person might be dealing with the death of someone they loved dearly. They might be dealing with more than you or I could ever fathom.
Don’t be quick to judge. Don’t be quick to retaliate. Don’t return anger with more anger. Love them. Be kind to them. Do unto them as you would want done unto you.

As I prepare to say goodbye to my lifelong friend, I hope to be that kindness to someone else some day. I hope to be the kindness of a stranger in this world.

You Are Enough

It’s amazing how at the age of 33, I still allow the voices from my childhood to influence my life today.

When you think back over your past, your history, there are always moments in time that stand out to you – good and bad. You’re history made you who you are today, but it doesn’t have to dictate your future. Silencing the voices of inadequacy in your head are possible, but you have to give in to God first, knowing He made you perfect, just the way you are.

I can remember the day as if it was yesterday. An awkward, and completely average (not overweight) little girl was standing in her friend’s bedroom playing dress up, only to be scolded by the friend’s mother. “Don’t wear that! Take it off now!” You’ll stretch it out!” At 8 years of age, I found myself holding back tears while I was told I wasn’t ‘skinny’ enough to play dress up. I saw myself as ‘different’ and ‘fat’ from that day on.

Fast forward to age 16. Try outs for the youth group band. All my life I had been told I had a gift for singing. My grandmother even called it an anointing. “Your vocal range is amazing! But we just like her better since you haven’t been trained on harmonies.” The consolation from the pianist didn’t help – “You’re a much better singer than her, but it’s a popularity thing; I’m sorry.” From that day on I didn’t see my voice as a gift from God, or anointed; I saw it as “not good enough”.

I’m 19 years old, standing in the parking lot of “B’s” apartment complex, getting ready for him to move to California. He kisses me tenderly and then holds my face in his hands and says to me: “You’re so pretty – but you’d be beautiful if you just lost these round cherub cheeks.” After that moment, I no longer saw myself as pretty or perfect. I looked in the mirror and only saw my flaws – my round cheeks, scars, crooked ears, etc. I saw myself as not pretty enough, not beautiful enough, not perfect enough.

For far too many years, I’ve let those voices from my past take up residence in my present – at many times even tainting my future. These voices in my head, moments in time, words that were said – I allowed them to shape me into who I am today: the girl who battles with her weight, who is self-conscious to sing where others can hear her, who feels unbeautiful, and who feels completely inadequate most of the time to complete what God has put in her heart for G.R.A.C.E.

But something clicked this week. Maybe it was when I realized how stupid it was to worry about my voice. Or perhaps it was when I was reminded, as long as I am in the will of God, then I am the right girl, in the right place, at the right time, doing exactly what I am supposed to be doing.

But the real freedom from these voices came when I sought God for His answer to the voices from my past.

Anytime we accept the idea that we are not enough, we negate all that Christ laid down for us to be whole, perfect, and blameless in the eyes of God. We aren’t just saying “I’m not enough”, we are saying “Jesus, you aren’t enough”. That revelation right there silenced the voices of my past. I never want to diminish or devalue all that God has done for me because He loves me and made me perfect just the way I am.

Psalm 139: 13-16 NLT
You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous – how well I know it. You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb. You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment laid out before a single day had passed.

I heard God say to me – “You are enough for the job you need to do. You are enough for the desires I have put in your heart. You are enough for the man I have for you. YOU ARE ENOUGH!”

Words can hurt, and because we are human, they won’t easily be forgotten – but with the help of God, and knowing you are perfect in Him, you can silence those doubts when they try to take up residence in your thoughts and actions.

So when those voices rise up in your head to say: you aren’t pretty enough, skinny enough, smart enough, or whatever inadequacy you’re facing – remember YOU are enough because God on the inside of you is all you will ever need to be complete and perfect in Him! He doesn’t create subpar works of art – He creates priceless masterpieces.

A Samsonite Past

Shortly after I graduated with my bachelor’s degree, I began planning a trip to Europe with a friend of mine. I never had any of the typical high school or college experiences, so I had these ideas of grandeur to make good on one cliche – backpacking through Europe: a 20something girl, traveling through a half-dozen European countries, hopping trains, and making memories. Dad quickly put the kibosh on that one when he explained that I’d never be able to pack all I wanted or needed into a backpack and traveling the ancient, cobblestone streets, with a rolling suitcase behind me, just wouldn’t have the same appeal.

So in October of 2007, complete with a great traveling companion and more bags than any one person would ever need, two single girls set out on the trip of a lifetime. I remember dad telling me, as he was trying to fit all of my suitcases into the trunk on our way to the airport, how I would never be able to handle all of my own bags and that I was taking way too much stuff with me. Of course my independent, I-Can-Do-Anything-I-Want, self said I’d have no problem finding a guy on the airplane or at the baggage claim to help. And I didn’t. Chivalry isn’t dead; you just have to know where to look for it. I had all the assistance I needed to put my bags in the overhead bins or to pull them off of the baggage carousel. But what I hadn’t planned on was a cranky, middle-aged, taxi driver in Madrid, Spain.

Armed with my traveling expertise and what little broken Spanish I still knew, I negotiated a flat fee taxi fare before we ever put a bag in the trunk. After our 45 minute ride to our hotel had turned into an 1.5hr tour of every back road and alleyway there was to downtown Madrid (unknown to us or our taxi driver, the main streets had been closed due to a bicycle race) I felt really good about negotiating that fare up front that now would have been double had we been paying off of the meter. Good that was until he abruptly pulled over on a side street, dumped all of our bags on to the curb, insisted we get out of the taxi, and pointed in a general direction saying in broken English “Your hotel! Your hotel!”. The moment he drove off, leaving us stranded and dumbfounded, I turned to my friend and plainly said, “that’s NOT our hotel”. suitcases

After 7+ blocks, walking the busy Gran Via (uphill), lugging behind me two full-size suitcases, two carry on bags, and a personal bag, I could do nothing more than stop and begin laughing hysterically thinking “if dad could see me now he’d be saying ‘I told you so'”. Those words haunted me the rest of the trip, included as I was flying back and missed our connecting flight in Chicago and I found myself running barefoot (no time to put my shoes back on after security) through the terminal, trying futilely to catch another connecting flight, only to arrive at the gate, bags in hand, as the connecting flight was pulling away. I had never hated baggage so much in my life as I did at that exact moment.

These memories are what have come to mind each day this week as I woke up every morning with a song on my heart, Suitcases by Dara Maclean.

How can you move when they’re weighing you down? What can you do when you’re tied to the ground…You carry your burdens heavy like gravity. Just let them go now, there’s freedom in release. You can’t run when you’re holding suitcases. It’s a new day, throw away your mistakes and open up your heart, lay down your guard, you don’t have to be afraid.

Have you ever tried running with a bunch of suitcases? As you can see above, I literally have, and it isn’t easy; it’s downright exhausting. Now think of those suitcases as your past and give them a name:

Shame
Fear
Abuse
Hurt
Bitterness
Anger
Blame
Failure
Worthlessness
Betrayal
Offense
Unmet Expectations
Broken Hearts

Can you imagine running, or even just walking, through life carrying all of that baggage around? People do it every day. Now think of your relationships – every one of those bags that you hold on to gets carried in to that relationship. Add to that, the baggage your partner brings, and before you know it you’ll be so weighed down by the past, you won’t be progressing forward any more.

You can probably guess what I’m going to say next – my one reoccurring theme: this isn’t God’s best for you! Carrying around your hurts, your brokenness, your baggage isn’t what God wants for you. It’s just like the new series my church has started, Found in You. In Him, in Christ, we have been redeemed, we have been washed clean of our past, and we have been made righteous in Him.

2 Corinthians 5:21
God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in Him we might become the righteousness of God.

Ephesians 1:7
In Him, we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace.

When we were redeemed and made righteous in Him, our past was wiped clean. Every bag we once held on to was thrown away. God keeps no account of our past we have been forgiven of. It’s only us, and our human nature, that continues to bring it back into the present. His word very plainly tells us that over and over again:

Psalm 55:22
Cast your cares on the Lord and He will sustain you; He will never let the righteous be shaken.

1 Peter 5:7
Casting all your care upon Him; for He careth for you.

Favim.com-12254 Micah 7:19
Once again You will have compassion on us. You will trample our sins under Your feet and throw them into the depths of the ocean!

Those cares and sins are the bags we hold on to. The baggage of our past. God has a plan for every one of us (Jeremiah 29:11). When we accepted Jesus as our Lord and Savior, the plan (or flight) we had for ourselves got replaced (rerouted) with the plan (flight) God has for us. But the more baggage you hold on to, the more you’ll get held back, and the more likely you are to miss the next flight and have to be rerouted to another one.

God’s mercy on us will always bring us back to our final destination in Him when we repent and seek Him, but it doesn’t have to be that way. You don’t have to be the person standing at the gate, holding all of your bags, as you watch your plane pull away and wait for the next one. No, God’s standing at the ticket counter saying “Give ME all of your bags. You don’t have to worry. You don’t have to care. I’ll take your cares and lose them over the Atlantic ocean and make sure you have everything you need when you arrive at your destination and I’ll exceed any expectation you might have.” Trust me, it’ll be one flight where you won’t mind having your bags lost.

So don’t be someone who holds on to your past, to all of those bags. And don’t allow that baggage to define who you are. There should be only one thing in life that defines us – Christ. I don’t want my past to define me. I want who I am in Christ to define me and my future. The only piece of baggage I want to take into my future – into a relationship – into a marriage one day – is the suitcase labeled “Redeemed and Righteous in Him”. Let go of your Samsonite past, throw your suitcases into the ocean of forgetfulness, and look ahead to the future God has for you! He’s got a first class seat waiting for you, but checked bags aren’t allowed, so pack light.

Philippians 3:13
…BUT one thing I do: forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead.