Tag: Unfailing

Great Expectations

  

We’ve all been there before – Checking our phones constantly for a text from someone special. For an email from a friend. For someone to surprise you on Valentine’s Day or your birthday. For a call to say they miss you. Even for someone to notice you. Notice a change you’ve made. To tell you they like you. Or that they love you. 

We all have great expectations of those around us, those we are closest to, those that we love the most. 

But what we do with those expectations can make the difference in our own lives and emotions. 

Let me admit first – this is one of my own biggest faults. So you aren’t alone. I’m preaching to myself here. 

I blame my creative, writer’s mind and imagination, but my expectations of friends have been known to go to the extreme. Let me give you an example:

Cute guy compliments my outfit. Expectations begin. What does it mean? Does he like me? Does he just like my outfit? Then begins my imagination with expectations, and about four different conversations and scenarios, that play through my head for the next time it happens. (The expectation of it happening again, that is.)

And when it doesn’t happen again, or the conversation doesn’t go the way I “expected” or rehearsed it to go, I get upset. 

I was getting upset over a conversation that had only ever happened in my head and all because I was letting my expectations of someone get out of line of what they should be. 

How often do we all do this? With our friends…our boyfriends/girlfriends…family…spouses? 

Ever sent a text expecting an immediate reply to something that was not life threatening? And did they reply immediately? Did you get upset when they didn’t meet your expectation? (Raises hand) Guilty as charged, again. 

When your expectations aren’t met, your emotions become the victim. And for many, this begins an emotional roller coaster that you should have never let yourself have admittance to in the first place. 

Setting expectations up for people you have no control over does nothing but set yourself up for failure and disappointment. 

Like I said, this is a huge fault of my own. I hold myself to an extremely high standard, which means I usually hold my friends and family to the same high standard. But it’s not fair to them. And again, when those expectations aren’t met, they aren’t hurt by it, but I may be. 

The more I have thought about this subject, the more I realized there is only one person we should set our expectations high for: God. His word says in Deuteronomy 31:6 Amp “Be strong, courageous, and firm; fear not nor be in terror before them, for it is the Lord your God Who goes with you; He will not fail you or forsake you.” And it states it again in the New Testament in Hebrews 13:5. In other words, He will never let us down. He will never disappoint. He will never not meet our expectations. In fact, if we let Him, He’ll even exceed our expectations!! 

It’s time to get off of the emotional roller coaster. Make sure your expectations are realistic and quit setting yourself up for hurt. Instead, put those expectations in the One who will never let you down and will always be there for you! You might even find yourself pleasantly surprised by those closest to you – when you stop setting unrealistic expectations for them, it’ll be a lot easier for them to meet and exceed them!

When God Says “Wait”

  
I’m going to go in a bit of a different direction with this blog. I promise not to disappoint, but I want to share a bit of my heart. And if you don’t like religion, well tough, because God is the center of my being, so deal with it. But I do hope you read on.

Being single and in your 30’s is no easy thing to walk out. It means you’ve now spent more than a decade of not only watching your friends get married, but also start their own families. You watch as everyone else lives out the desires you hold deep in your heart.

Watching everyone else live out the very thing you want most in life is difficult; like pouring salt in an open wound. But then you hear that still, small voice inside say “wait”.

You attend another shower, wedding, birth, party and think “when will it be my turn?” But then you hear that still, small voice inside say “wait”.

You see friends, some happy, some unhappy, and think “any relationship would be better than none”. But then you hear that still, small voice inside say “wait” and you remember the words spoken over you years ago – you ARE more precious than gold, settle for no less.

When you hear the Lord speak to you, telling you to “wait”, you take notice.

But “waiting” is so easy, in theory. In action, you want to do anything but wait and one can liken it to wading through a pool of honey – as if the harder you try to move, the more stuck in one place you become.  And from there, it’s a quick spiral into doubting your own self-worth.

But again you hear “wait”. So you…wait.

At this point all you can do is seek God and find the calmness in His promises.

So two years ago I began studying the Psalms that the Lord laid on my heart. For months I meditated on them. I underlined every time the word “unfailing love” appeared. It was through this time, months spent reading and re-reading the Psalms, that I began having a new rhema of God’s unfailing love for me.

Psalm 21: 2-7 (NLT)
For you have given him his heart’s desire; you have withheld nothing he requested. You welcomed him back with success and prosperity. You placed a crown of finest gold on his head. He asked you to preserve his life, and you granted his request. The days of his life stretch on forever. Your victory brings him great honor, and you have clothed him with splendor and majesty. You have endowed him with eternal blessings and given him the joy of your presence. For the king trusts in the Lord. The unfailing love of the most high will keep him from stumbling.

While the first part of this passage stands out (the desires of your heart!), the last promise of His unfailing love spoke volumes to me. Not only will His love never fail me, His love will sustain me and keep me from stumbling.

For two years, this is the truth I have held on to. And as I began having a revelation of God’s love for me, I began hearing bits of God’s heart and His desires for me, placed into my own. I no longer just heard “wait”. I heard the reason behind that “wait”. I began to see God weaving His story for my life, His promises, and for the first time I truly understood that His “wait” meant He was orchestrating the greatest love story of all and it will be worth all the “wait” in the world.

Does this mean I don’t have difficult days feeling down? No. But it means I wait, sometimes patiently, sometimes not so patiently. Does this mean God has revealed it all to me these past two years? Not at all. But it does mean that I’ve hidden away in my heart those things He has revealed. I can’t share it all with you 😉 Just know the last two years haven’t only been a roller coaster of emotional ups and downs with online dating. The last two years have taught me, to wait on God and His best. They’ve taught me to sit in the stillness of the night and listen to the Holy Spirit speaking to my soul.  But most importantly, they’ve taught me that when God says “Wait”, He’ll follow it up with “now take a leap of faith”.