In the Blink of an Eye

This has been an interesting week here in Texas to say the least. And quite possibly one of the longest weeks I can remember. Sunday brought freezing rain that we were driving home in. Monday was more ice and a crazy, hectic day at work. Tuesday was mostly the remnants of Monday. But, oh, Wednesday brought some hope! Wednesday morning started off with a snow covered car and gray, gloomy skies. But by lunch time, just four short hours later, there wasn’t a single sign of snow left and beautiful blue skies had emerged!

As I was sitting there on my lunch break, I started thinking about what I had written the week before about staying focused on the future that’s ahead of you and not getting side tracked on what’s currently happening around you. But God took this one step further with me, when I started thinking of how quickly our circumstances can change for the better.

In a matter of just four hours, or 240 minutes, the weather here in “bi-polar Texas” changed from freezing, gloomy, with snow to cool, sunny, and clear blue skies. If the weather can change that quickly, how quickly can our circumstances change when God is involved?

Given God’s track record, I’d say quicker than the speed of light.

When God was creating the world, and the world was without light, God spoke change into the void and light was. God didn’t speak it and then several days later, after a bunch of other things happened and fell in to place, light finally happened. God didn’t speak it and light only showed up in one place, but not another. No. God spoke “let there be light and light was!” (Genesis 1).

I started thinking about this in my own life and my own circumstances. I’ve seen it happen personally before. I can think back to last summer, when I had been told I was at the top of my pay grade for my position and there was no hope for a raise if I wasn’t willing to change departments. But God’s will was for me to stay right where I was and to be obedient to Him (staying forward focused and not being distracted by the present facts).

One afternoon, while in a drive-thru for lunch, I heard the Holy Spirit speak to me to pay for lunch for the car behind me. I did so out of obedience and keeping my focus straight ahead instead of thinking, how tight my finances already were and what the current facts around me were screaming. Not ten minutes after I made it back to work from lunch, I was called in and given a raise that I had been told before was impossible! Not only impossible, but RETROACTIVE! And God’s change didn’t stop there…just three months later, I received another promotion that could only come at the hand of God!!

And as I am writing this, I am listening to a testimony at a church service, where a congregation member lost consciousness and a pulse, but as they began to pray over him and speak God’s life changing power over him, that situation changed and he was brought back from death!

Even now, as my hearts deepest desire is for a spouse at this time in my life, God quickly reminded me of Adam. Adam saw all of God’s creation around him, and it was good, but none were a match for him. God took from Adam and created his helpmate, Eve. And you know how quickly that change occurred? It didn’t take months of searching through online dating – no, Adam’s change took place in the course of an afternoon nap!

I know it might not be logical to think when you wake up from your Sunday afternoon nap, your helpmate will be right there waiting for you. Of course not. That would actually be a bit weird and perhaps worth calling the police over (I mean how would they get in to your house if you’re sleeping?). But it is logical to believe and EXPECT God to move that quickly to change your current circumstances!

When you are obedient to God, and in the right place where He wants you at that time, the circumstances around you won’t matter because you know how quickly they are going to change – In the blink of an eye! In the time it takes to speak them in to existence! In the time it takes to activate your faith and put it to work, God’s change is going to be right there waiting for you!!

So be encouraged. No matter what you are facing. If God can speak and light is… If a man can be dead, yet risen again by faith… If Adam can take a nap and wake up with a wife… What issue can you possibly think is too big for God to change instantly when you believe and put your faith and obedience in to it?! The answer – NONE!!!

Are You There God? It’s Me, Gertie.

  
When I started blogging two and half years ago, this is not the place I ever expected to take it. If you know me, then you know, humor is my MO. Sarcastic humor, none-the-less. It’s how I cope with things, especially when I feel uncomfortable – it’s a wall I could put up. And on the cusp of my 30th birthday, with the pressure to try online dating one more time, writing a blog about it seemed to be the logical next step. I mean because the first two times I tried it, it was so successful. See there’s that sarcasm again.

But there are only so many funny encounters with online dating you can write about before it just becomes negative. And becoming negative is a slippery slope into bitterness. That’s the slope I was falling down over the last two years. Falling might not be the right word – sledding down on a rocket, at super-sonic speed, might be more accurate. It didn’t really hit me, that that’s what I was doing though, until Berta and I talked one night and she expressed her concern in not wanting to see me become the bitter, single 30something girl. We’ve both seen that girl in a story before, and trust me, it doesn’t end well…That girl? She’s now a 40something bitter, single girl.

All I knew, coming out of that conversation, was that I did not want to become that girl. Bitterness is the quickest way to let go of your dreams, and letting go of my dreams is the one thing I can’t do. Why is that? Because I know God loves me enough to see those dreams He placed in my heart become a reality. So I did what my heart and soul know to do best; I cried out to God, asking if He was still there – still in the middle of it all – because I didn’t feel like He was.

There is a song that always seems to come to my mind in times like this: Storm – by Lifehouse
………”I know You didn’t bring me out here to drown, So why am I ten feet under and upside down? Barely surviving has become my purpose, Because I’m so used to living underneath the surface. If I could just see You, Everything would be all right, If I’d see You, This darkness would turn to light. And I will walk on water. And You will catch me if I fall. And I will get lost into Your eyes. And I know everything will be alright………”

That song exactly summed up how I felt, and had felt for more than two years now. But all I kept thinking about was how friends had all told me that I needed to find contentment in my singleness.

Contentment?! Obviously none of them had been single in their 30’s. Why should I be content with something I know is not God’s best for me?

But then, God.

Just as He had been telling me all these years to “wait“, He reminded me of what he spoke to my heart sitting in service at the Southwest Believers Convention in 2013 and I knew it wasn’t about finding contentment in being single, it was about finding who I was in Him.

Matthew 6: 32-33 (NLT)
“These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs. Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.” 

God still has some work to do with me…I’ve got to learn to listen to Him and obey the first time He tells me something. I’d save myself a lot of heartache in the end for sure. But this time (I’m not going to lie, it’s the second time around), I obeyed and stepped way out of my comfort zone. And what have I been rewarded with? CONTENTMENT! and excitement and anticipation and happiness! I have found that I have a new excitement about church again, an anticipation of what God has in store for my future, and in general a new happiness that I know now can only be found when you seek God first.

So look for a lot more posts like this. Luke 6:45 “…out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks…” or in my case, the fingers type and boy, oh boy, do I have a lot more to type. All in due time, dear readers. All in due time. Gertie is letting go of any negativity and bitterness and letting God’s contentment take over.

When God Says “Wait”

  
I’m going to go in a bit of a different direction with this blog. I promise not to disappoint, but I want to share a bit of my heart. And if you don’t like religion, well tough, because God is the center of my being, so deal with it. But I do hope you read on.

Being single and in your 30’s is no easy thing to walk out. It means you’ve now spent more than a decade of not only watching your friends get married, but also start their own families. You watch as everyone else lives out the desires you hold deep in your heart.

Watching everyone else live out the very thing you want most in life is difficult; like pouring salt in an open wound. But then you hear that still, small voice inside say “wait”.

You attend another shower, wedding, birth, party and think “when will it be my turn?” But then you hear that still, small voice inside say “wait”.

You see friends, some happy, some unhappy, and think “any relationship would be better than none”. But then you hear that still, small voice inside say “wait” and you remember the words spoken over you years ago – you ARE more precious than gold, settle for no less.

When you hear the Lord speak to you, telling you to “wait”, you take notice.

But “waiting” is so easy, in theory. In action, you want to do anything but wait and one can liken it to wading through a pool of honey – as if the harder you try to move, the more stuck in one place you become.  And from there, it’s a quick spiral into doubting your own self-worth.

But again you hear “wait”. So you…wait.

At this point all you can do is seek God and find the calmness in His promises.

So two years ago I began studying the Psalms that the Lord laid on my heart. For months I meditated on them. I underlined every time the word “unfailing love” appeared. It was through this time, months spent reading and re-reading the Psalms, that I began having a new rhema of God’s unfailing love for me.

Psalm 21: 2-7 (NLT)
For you have given him his heart’s desire; you have withheld nothing he requested. You welcomed him back with success and prosperity. You placed a crown of finest gold on his head. He asked you to preserve his life, and you granted his request. The days of his life stretch on forever. Your victory brings him great honor, and you have clothed him with splendor and majesty. You have endowed him with eternal blessings and given him the joy of your presence. For the king trusts in the Lord. The unfailing love of the most high will keep him from stumbling.

While the first part of this passage stands out (the desires of your heart!), the last promise of His unfailing love spoke volumes to me. Not only will His love never fail me, His love will sustain me and keep me from stumbling.

For two years, this is the truth I have held on to. And as I began having a revelation of God’s love for me, I began hearing bits of God’s heart and His desires for me, placed into my own. I no longer just heard “wait”. I heard the reason behind that “wait”. I began to see God weaving His story for my life, His promises, and for the first time I truly understood that His “wait” meant He was orchestrating the greatest love story of all and it will be worth all the “wait” in the world.

Does this mean I don’t have difficult days feeling down? No. But it means I wait, sometimes patiently, sometimes not so patiently. Does this mean God has revealed it all to me these past two years? Not at all. But it does mean that I’ve hidden away in my heart those things He has revealed. I can’t share it all with you 😉 Just know the last two years haven’t only been a roller coaster of emotional ups and downs with online dating. The last two years have taught me, to wait on God and His best. They’ve taught me to sit in the stillness of the night and listen to the Holy Spirit speaking to my soul.  But most importantly, they’ve taught me that when God says “Wait”, He’ll follow it up with “now take a leap of faith”.