Tag: hurt

Pure & Simple – *more than just sex


Purity – a topic that is always a hot discussion, yet no one ever really wants to discuss it anymore in public. This week, our youth pastor at church will be speaking on it and I’m really looking forward to his take on the topic. 

Personally, I came out of the 1990’s “purity movement” that took most evangelical churches by storm. And now, 20 years later, I look back on it all with a much different perspective than my young, teenage self did at the time. 

In the 1990’s, purity was taught (sometimes on a level of brainwashing) as simply all about sex – no sex outside of marriage – period. Churches everywhere were holding “purity ring” ceremonies on every awkward level you can imagine. And don’t even get me started on how this was mainly shoved onto the girls only – the guys seemed to be surprisingly absent from this abstinence message. And they were singling everyone out who didn’t live up to the “pure” standards they set. Because of this, most people tossed out the purity message as not being relevant to them. 

So I really started thinking – what was so wrong with the purity message of the 90’s? 

I’ve focused a lot these past few months about what His Word says about living a pure life and guarding yourself and I kept coming back to II Timothy and Proverbs. 

Sure we can all quote scriptures about sexual immorality and fornication (who ever thought I’d use a word like that in one of my posts?!), but what does living a pure life really boil down to? 

II Timothy 2:21-22 NLT

If you keep yourself pure, you will be a special utensil for honorable use. Your life will be clean, and you will be ready for the Master to use you for every good work. Run from anything that stimulates youthful lusts. Instead, pursue righteous living, faithfulness, love, and peace. Enjoy the companionship of those who call on the Lord with pure hearts.‭

When you set your life aside for God, when you put down your own desires, He will use you in a great and magnificent way! When you put aside your own desires as a sacrifice to Him, everything else will come naturally. But you must do these with a pure heart and the right intentions. 

Proverbs 4:23 NLT

Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life. 

Last time I checked, Proverbs 4:23 didn’t say “guard your V card”, as some would like you to believe. It says “guard your heart”. 

Guard your heart from those who only want to mess with it. Guard your heart from what will hurt it – from what it might not yet be prepared for. Guard your heart from the emotional games people like to play. Guard your heart as a precious and fragile gift to one day give to someone. Guard your heart against anything impure so that you can live consecrated and set apart for His good…for His great plan for our lives. 

As you begin to live a life pure and set apart for His good, you’ll find that living purely in other areas will come naturally. 

And that pure life … it can start today, right now, no matter what your past holds. No matter the choices you’ve made. No matter the consequences you may be living with now. When you give it all over to the Lord, you start fresh and anew, washed clean as snow, with everything of the past cast into the sea, forgotten, never to be brought up again by God. 

Start living your life set apart for Him. Let your thoughts and speech be pure (even I am working on this). Let your life be an outward example of the greater one who lives on the inside of you. 
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that sexual purity isn’t important – I’m simply saying it’s only one aspect of the pure life we should all be leading. 

Purity is about more than just sex! Purity is also about living a life that is pure, no matter your past. This is what should have been taught back then. And it’s what the purity message should be from here on out. 

So remember, It doesn’t matter what you’ve done in your past – determine today to live your life pure as a gift, not only to your future spouse, but as consecrated and set apart for the one who gave His all for us! 

All You Need Is Love 


As the holiday season is all around us, and the new year is quickly approaching, I’ve been thinking back over 2016. 

I don’t know about you, but for me (personally) 2016 was an incredibly difficult year. Over the last 12 months I have laughed and cried, I’ve experienced the joy of new lives and the pain of others as they died, I’ve been blessed by some of the most selfless people I could know and deeply hurt by others I’ve called family. 

But through it all, the ups and downs, the highs and the lows – one truth has remained the same: all you need is love. 

Maybe you’ve faced some of these same difficulties this year. Perhaps you are even in the middle of them now. You’re thinking to yourself, how are you going to get through the holidays? How are you going to put a smile on your face when your heart is hurting. Remember, even in the midst of your greatest moments of sorrow, of pain, of hurt, Jesus is with you. His love surrounds you. His peace comforts you. His arms protect you. 

Thousands of years ago, God’s love for us provided the ultimate answer to every need we would ever have, to every problem we’d ever face. God’s love for us gave us Jesus; God’s own love and grace given to us through flesh and blood. He took on the embodiment of man, was subjected to the ridicule of this world, and suffered our pain and diseases so we could be free – so we could in turn, be living examples of Him, of His love for us. 

I’ve tried to take this realization, this truth, and see others through His eyes of love this season. And let me be honest with you, it’s one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. I won’t go into details, but know I’ve seen family turn their backs on those closest to them, loved ones die tragically long before they should have, and others have risen up in false accusations. But how do you love someone, as Christ has loved us, when you’ve been rightly wronged? 

You turn the other cheek and you love them anyway. 

You do unto others as you would like done to you. 

You see them through the eyes of Christ, as He sees them. 

You remember just how much God loves us and challenge yourself to love others even a fraction of that amount. 

Start walking out each moment as an example of Christ’s love for us. 

Hold the door open a little longer at the store. Offer to take someone’s cart back for them. Ask the cashier how their day has been. Tell the woman in the dressing room next to you that her dress is beautiful. Make eye contact. Smile a little more. Hum a sweet Christmas carol. Say Merry Christmas to those you pass. 

I think you’ll find as you begin loving others (even the unlovable) you’ll find your own mood lifted and loving yourself even more. And as a great side effect, you’ll be sharing that love with others and brightening their day too. You never know when your kind word or act of kindness may be the pivotal difference in someone’s dark and desperate life. 

This holiday season, remember you never know what someone else may have been through that you, and your love, could be the answer to! 

And if all else fails, just hum the famous little Beatles tune in your head to help you remember, all you need is love. 

All you need is love. Bum bum bum bum bum. All you need is love. Bum bum bum bum bum bum bum. All you need is love, love. Love is all you need.