Expectations – Guiding GRACE

Faithful

Faithful

Merriam-Webster states it as:
adjective faith·ful \ ˈfāth-fəl \

Definition of faithful
1 : steadfast in affection or allegiance : loyal a faithful friend

2 : firm in adherence to promises or in observance of duty : conscientious a faithful employee

3 : given with strong assurance : binding a faithful promise

4 : true to the facts, to a standard, or to an original a faithful copy

5 : full of faith

I was at a dinner party recently, just before Christmas, and we were discussing the story of Mary before she gave birth to Jesus. Among the topics discussed was her faithfulness to God. Here, at such a young age, she was asked to believe in something many of us nowadays can not even wrap our minds around. But she always remained faithful and trusted in God – regardless of what the circumstances looked like, she kept believing and kept moving forward.

Luke 1:45 NLT

You are blessed because you believed that the Lord would do what he said.

As we continued to discuss Mary’s story, we began to go around the table each discussing our 2017 – especially focusing on any singular word or theme we had had from the Lord for that year.

I started to wrack my brain thinking back. Had I had a word for 2017 for myself? I really couldn’t think of one immediately, but then I felt a quickening in my spirit of the word “faithful” and the people who spoke words of wisdom and encouragement into my life during the first few months of 2017. The common theme of each of those words was faithfulness.

2016 had been so full of promise, but as 2016 began to close and 2017 started, I was disappointed, frustrated, and discouraged – with my job, with church, with myself.

There was a shift in friendships – which is an important lesson in and of itself to learn; some are for only a season. I felt stagnant at work – leaving many days more frustrated than when I came. And mostly, I felt like I’d hit a wall: at church, in ministry, and spiritually.

But then came March. As I was crying out to God saying what am I to do, three words came in three days all confirming the same thing: stay the course, don’t jump ship, God has seen your struggle and your servant’s heart, remain faithful and He will do the same.

Remain faithful and He’ll do the same.

There’s that scripture again.

Luke 1:45 NLT

You are blessed because you believed that the Lord would do what he said.

I wasn’t sure what these words I’d received would mean. And frankly, staying faithful when I wanted to run away was the last thing I wanted to do.

Staying faithful, when there is nothing you can do to speed things up or make things happen yourself, is one of the most difficult tasks you’ll ever have in life. Because that requires staying faithful and putting your trust in someone else believing that what He said He’ll do, He’ll actually do.

In my heart of hearts I knew. If I would be faithful in trusting Him, He would be faithful in fulfilling His promises to me.

So as I sat at the dinner table of this Christmas party, and my turn to give my word for 2017 arrived, my eyes began to well up with tears because I realized God had done exactly what He had said – He had followed through on what He’d promised me in March. Stay faithful and I will be faithful to you.

In April, I saw some precious friendships blossom and strengthen. Knit together as only God can do.

In May, I began ministering weekly at a local ministry and saw myself being stretched and pulled in ways I never thought possible.

In July, I was asked to speak at our youth camp. Something I never pictured myself doing.

In August, I began doing the worship transition and offering every Wednesday night for our youth services.

In October, I welcomed my 35th birthday – not with tears and sadness as I had expected it would be, but with friends showering me in the truest love I’ve ever experienced.

Over the summer, I also accepted two new positions at work.

Now, as I sit in my warm house, snuggled near the fireplace, on this cold and dreary New Year’s Eve, I look forward to 2018 while remembering 2017 with fondness instead of bitterness.

I’m not sure yet what my word for 2018 will be, although “expectancy” is what I keep feeling in my heart. I have a true expectancy for this coming year. An expectancy for my life. An expectancy for ministry in new and exciting ways.

But the one thing I know will remain true, come what may, is that those who believe God will do what He has promised will be blessed!

Can you look back on 2017 and see His faithfulness at work in your life? What do you believe will be your word for 2018 – your promise to remain faithful to? Let’s all head into 2018 with an eager expectancy for our lives and be just like Mary; remaining faithful in believing and blessed in receiving!

Great Expectations

We’ve all been there before – Checking our phones constantly for a text from someone special. For an email from a friend. For someone to surprise you on Valentine’s Day or your birthday. For a call to say they miss you. Even for someone to notice you. Notice a change you’ve made. To tell you they like you. Or that they love you.

We all have great expectations of those around us, those we are closest to, those that we love the most.

But what we do with those expectations can make the difference in our own lives and emotions.

Let me admit first – this is one of my own biggest faults. So you aren’t alone. I’m preaching to myself here.

I blame my creative, writer’s mind and imagination, but my expectations of friends have been known to go to the extreme. Let me give you an example:

Cute guy compliments my outfit. Expectations begin. What does it mean? Does he like me? Does he just like my outfit? Then begins my imagination with expectations, and about four different conversations and scenarios, that play through my head for the next time it happens. (The expectation of it happening again, that is.)

And when it doesn’t happen again, or the conversation doesn’t go the way I “expected” or rehearsed it to go, I get upset.

I was getting upset over a conversation that had only ever happened in my head and all because I was letting my expectations of someone get out of line of what they should be.

How often do we all do this? With our friends…our boyfriends/girlfriends…family…spouses?

Ever sent a text expecting an immediate reply to something that was not life threatening? And did they reply immediately? Did you get upset when they didn’t meet your expectation? (Raises hand) Guilty as charged, again.

When your expectations aren’t met, your emotions become the victim. And for many, this begins an emotional roller coaster that you should have never let yourself have admittance to in the first place.

Setting expectations up for people you have no control over does nothing but set yourself up for failure and disappointment.

Like I said, this is a huge fault of my own. I hold myself to an extremely high standard, which means I usually hold my friends and family to the same high standard. But it’s not fair to them. And again, when those expectations aren’t met, they aren’t hurt by it, but I may be.

The more I have thought about this subject, the more I realized there is only one person we should set our expectations high for: God. His word says in Deuteronomy 31:6 Amp “Be strong, courageous, and firm; fear not nor be in terror before them, for it is the Lord your God Who goes with you; He will not fail you or forsake you.” And it states it again in the New Testament in Hebrews 13:5. In other words, He will never let us down. He will never disappoint. He will never not meet our expectations. In fact, if we let Him, He’ll even exceed our expectations!!

It’s time to get off of the emotional roller coaster. Make sure your expectations are realistic and quit setting yourself up for hurt. Instead, put those expectations in the One who will never let you down and will always be there for you! You might even find yourself pleasantly surprised by those closest to you – when you stop setting unrealistic expectations for them, it’ll be a lot easier for them to meet and exceed them!

Toss the List

I began writing this blog several days ago, but then the lists of the holiday season took over. Ironic, I know. There were lists of what needed to bought. Lists of what needed to be wrapped. Lists of what needed to be made. Lists and lists of this and that.

I’d consider myself to be an avid list maker. Making lists is my own personal happy place – it can even give me a semblance of control over something or a situation by making lists. I can even think of countless nights over the years where I couldn’t go to sleep because my mind was in “list mode”. Maybe it’s just a woman thing, but I think in general women come by it naturally. Whether it’s a grocery list or a list of attributes and qualities of a future spouse, women start making lists in grade school. And we don’t just see Point A to Point Z, we see every other step in the alphabet in between, along with the bullet points and foot notes.

Now don’t get me wrong, lists can be a good thing. They can keep you on budget at the grocery store, they can help you remember things to do, but lists can go to the extreme too. So when does the list making go too far?

Like I said, girls start young with the lists. The grade school game of M.A.S.H. is all about lists. But as those young girls get older, and their hearts a little more broken, those lists start getting longer.

I had a pretty long list many years ago. And I justified those lists because of a word that had been spoken over me by a prophet to not settle for anything less than God’s best. I knew what I wanted and I wanted what I knew. But as my lists grew longer, my age older, and my self-esteem lower, God began dealing with me and my incessant list making.

It all started pretty simple, like most of my conversations with God do. “So tell me what is on your list?”, I heard Him say as I began rambling off everything from height and eye color to being a man like my father. I even spent time justifying each of those bullet points in great length with God. But then God really got my attention when I heard Him say, “Do you not trust Me?”.

Never, before that moment, had I looked at MY lists as being a way of not trusting God with my life and not living by faith.

That’s when He reminded me of what His word says: “I knew YOU before I formed YOU” (Jeremiah 1:5), “I know the END from the BEGINNING” (Isaiah 46:10), “My plans for you are good, not bad” (Jeremiah 29:11), so “Seek Me and I will gladly give you your heart’s desires” (Psalm 37:4), “If you know these things, and believe by faith that they are true, then why are you limiting what I have planned for your life with your lists?”. So I tossed MY list and began seeking God on what HIS list was for me.

Tossing my “husband list” all happened several years ago. And I thought I was done with the lists after receiving that correction from the Lord, until that is, I saw I had started using them in other areas of my life again.

Over a year ago I had heard from God to go and visit another church. But I didn’t want to – I was at my lowest (self-esteem) and heaviest (weight) point in my life. I didn’t even want to go to church and see people I’ve known for years, much less go somewhere different and meet new people.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I LOVE my pastors and my personal relationship with them, but I wasn’t in love with my church. I had my list though! Foolishly, I shared it with God again (apparently I didn’t learn my lesson the first time). “God, if I can just have XYZ and ABC, even 123 if I really want to be real about what I want, I would have the perfect church!”. Let me add a little bit of advice here: there is no such thing as a perfect church. There is, however, such a thing as the right church for you – it might be for life, or it might just be for a season, but that is why it’s important to be led by God.

Not surprisingly, God didn’t answer me this time. I can see Him now smirking and shaking His head saying “Didn’t we have this SAME EXACT conversation a few years ago?”

So I went on. Running from what God had told me to do and holding tight to my list every Sunday morning. Pretty soon, I began to see things change at church and I began to see those things on my list get checked off. I actually got really excited….there was MY list, coming to life before my eyes! We were having these amazing moves of the Holy Spirit in our services, with praise and worship leaving behind the “production” aspect of it all and going back to the roots of my youth with tried and true (and anointed) hymns, but it still didn’t feel right.

How could it not feel right though if I was getting everything I had wanted?

That’s when I felt that urgency rise up again at what God had told me to do before. I guess that’s why it didn’t feel right because I was still looking for what I wanted for myself, not for what God wanted for me.

Even after my first Sunday visiting a new church, I still was holding things up to MY list of expectations. Which is exactly what most lists boil down to – expectations. So I sought God and heard Him say, “Do you not think I can be the same God there as I am at any other church, any other service?” And I heard again what His word says: “I knew YOU before I formed YOU” (Jeremiah 1:5), “I know the END from the BEGINNING” (Isaiah 46:10), “My plans for you are good, not bad” (Jeremiah 29:11), so “Seek Me and I will gladly give you your heart’s desires” (Psalm 37:4), “If you know these things, and believe by faith that they are true, then why are you limiting what I have planned for your life with your lists?”

I know God wants the best for me and that He knows better than I ever could of what I need. So I made the decision to allow peace to be my umpire (Colossians 3:15) and I tossed my lists along with all of my expectations. I don’t want to limit what God can do and what He wants for my life.

His word says says in Ephesians 3:20 (NLT) “Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.” Don’t put God in a box limited by your lists and don’t narrow Him to your own expectations and ideas for anything in your life: be it a spouse, a church, even a job. You might not know what the future holds, but that’s where you have to let faith take over. As I have started being led by peace and allowing faith to take over my expectations and lists, I’ve seen God show up big time in my life with a new excitement about church. When we toss our lists and stop limiting God in our lives, and we start walking by faith, we’ll see Him show up bigger than ever before!