Encouraging – Guiding GRACE

Faithful

Faithful

Merriam-Webster states it as:
adjective faith·ful \ ˈfāth-fəl \

Definition of faithful
1 : steadfast in affection or allegiance : loyal a faithful friend

2 : firm in adherence to promises or in observance of duty : conscientious a faithful employee

3 : given with strong assurance : binding a faithful promise

4 : true to the facts, to a standard, or to an original a faithful copy

5 : full of faith

I was at a dinner party recently, just before Christmas, and we were discussing the story of Mary before she gave birth to Jesus. Among the topics discussed was her faithfulness to God. Here, at such a young age, she was asked to believe in something many of us nowadays can not even wrap our minds around. But she always remained faithful and trusted in God – regardless of what the circumstances looked like, she kept believing and kept moving forward.

Luke 1:45 NLT

You are blessed because you believed that the Lord would do what he said.

As we continued to discuss Mary’s story, we began to go around the table each discussing our 2017 – especially focusing on any singular word or theme we had had from the Lord for that year.

I started to wrack my brain thinking back. Had I had a word for 2017 for myself? I really couldn’t think of one immediately, but then I felt a quickening in my spirit of the word “faithful” and the people who spoke words of wisdom and encouragement into my life during the first few months of 2017. The common theme of each of those words was faithfulness.

2016 had been so full of promise, but as 2016 began to close and 2017 started, I was disappointed, frustrated, and discouraged – with my job, with church, with myself.

There was a shift in friendships – which is an important lesson in and of itself to learn; some are for only a season. I felt stagnant at work – leaving many days more frustrated than when I came. And mostly, I felt like I’d hit a wall: at church, in ministry, and spiritually.

But then came March. As I was crying out to God saying what am I to do, three words came in three days all confirming the same thing: stay the course, don’t jump ship, God has seen your struggle and your servant’s heart, remain faithful and He will do the same.

Remain faithful and He’ll do the same.

There’s that scripture again.

Luke 1:45 NLT

You are blessed because you believed that the Lord would do what he said.

I wasn’t sure what these words I’d received would mean. And frankly, staying faithful when I wanted to run away was the last thing I wanted to do.

Staying faithful, when there is nothing you can do to speed things up or make things happen yourself, is one of the most difficult tasks you’ll ever have in life. Because that requires staying faithful and putting your trust in someone else believing that what He said He’ll do, He’ll actually do.

In my heart of hearts I knew. If I would be faithful in trusting Him, He would be faithful in fulfilling His promises to me.

So as I sat at the dinner table of this Christmas party, and my turn to give my word for 2017 arrived, my eyes began to well up with tears because I realized God had done exactly what He had said – He had followed through on what He’d promised me in March. Stay faithful and I will be faithful to you.

In April, I saw some precious friendships blossom and strengthen. Knit together as only God can do.

In May, I began ministering weekly at a local ministry and saw myself being stretched and pulled in ways I never thought possible.

In July, I was asked to speak at our youth camp. Something I never pictured myself doing.

In August, I began doing the worship transition and offering every Wednesday night for our youth services.

In October, I welcomed my 35th birthday – not with tears and sadness as I had expected it would be, but with friends showering me in the truest love I’ve ever experienced.

Over the summer, I also accepted two new positions at work.

Now, as I sit in my warm house, snuggled near the fireplace, on this cold and dreary New Year’s Eve, I look forward to 2018 while remembering 2017 with fondness instead of bitterness.

I’m not sure yet what my word for 2018 will be, although “expectancy” is what I keep feeling in my heart. I have a true expectancy for this coming year. An expectancy for my life. An expectancy for ministry in new and exciting ways.

But the one thing I know will remain true, come what may, is that those who believe God will do what He has promised will be blessed!

Can you look back on 2017 and see His faithfulness at work in your life? What do you believe will be your word for 2018 – your promise to remain faithful to? Let’s all head into 2018 with an eager expectancy for our lives and be just like Mary; remaining faithful in believing and blessed in receiving!

In HIM…You ARE

Have you ever been asked to do something you weren’t sure you were capable of? Or been in a situation where you felt completely over your head?

Have you ever felt unqualified? Unworthy? Unlovable? Unbeautiful?

I know I have. In fact, when I was asked to speak to the youth at our summer camp – I was excited! At first, that is. Then that small little voice of fear crept in.

You see, Satan doesn’t take a sick day. He doesn’t sit back and think, nah I’m just going to let that one slide. No, he’s always there, waiting for the opportune moment to sink his claws in and destroy anything good God has for us!

Lisa Bevere once said, ‘Satan doesn’t attack us based on our past, he attacks us based on our future!’

He attacks us based on what he KNOWS we are capable of because he knows what Christ, who lives in us, is capable of!

So when that little voice started saying to me: you aren’t ready for this. You’ve never stood in front of people talking (as I started having horrible flashbacks to college speech classes) – You aren’t qualified to do this. I quickly felt deflated and defeated.

Sure I’ve done the small group thing before – where you have the instant feedback and gratification from your participants – but to actually get up and speak to an audience – to preach – mark that one on my ‘Never Have I Ever’ list.

But what does the Word say about who Satan is? Does he come to remind us of the obvious truths we may believe in? No. The Word says in John 8:44 that Satan is a thief and the father of all lies – that there is no truth in him. And in John 10:10 NLT – “The thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life.”

Satan takes the truth and twists it until it becomes a lie you believe. As a prime example, just last night – through a series of crazy events – we saw bugs on the beds we were preparing to sleep in. The truth of the matter – it was an actual bug on the bed. The lie – they weren’t bedbugs. Satan took that truth, and through fear, twisted it into a lie until we were so overcome by it that no one wanted to sleep on the beds.

Satan comes to STEAL the TRUTH from you, to KILL your FAITH and FUTURE, and DESTROY EVERY GOOD THING GOD HAS FOR YOU.

So the Lord really began to minister to me about who I am and who lives IN me.

Because of Him – My past and sins were crucified with Him

Because of Him – I was raised up and I am alive

Because of Him – it isn’t me who lives, but Christ who lives

He LIVES in ME! He LIVES in YOU!

“I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.” Galatians‬ ‭2:20‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

Because of Him, because He lives in me…when I believe the lies of the devil and I say I’M not qualified, I’M not capable, I’M not beautiful, I’M not ENOUGH…we are saying that Christ IN US isn’t qualified, isn’t capable, isn’t exactly who He created you to be – we are saying Christ ISN’T ENOUGH!

I don’t know about y’all. But that revelation hit me like a ton of bricks. Christ IS enough. His death and resurrection ARE my LIFE! When the greater one resides in you…who can be against you? What dare be against you?

But even more so as I was praying over this Wednesday on my drive to church…the Lord began to minister to me about not just Christ in me, but Christ in others.

One of the nasty lies of Satan I’ve believed all of my life is that I wasn’t pretty, wasn’t beautiful. How much more so if I didn’t believe it and didn’t love myself, then how could anyone else find me pretty, or beautiful, or love me?!

That’s when the Lord began to minister to me that if He’s in me and He is everything, then isn’t He the same in other believers too? I have to believe that Him in me, Him in you, and Him in my future spouse are enough too!

With Christ in you, because of the sacrifice He made…you are equipped and capable and beautiful and EVERYTHING HE DESIGNED YOU TO BE!!

Does Practice Really Make Perfect?

Last year, around this time, I was Christmas shopping in Target and came across this book: Never Have I Ever, My Life (SO FAR) Without a Date by Katie Heaney. Of course, I snapped a quick photo of it and sent it to Berta, jokingly saying “Hey look, it’s a book about ME!”

Well, I was mostly joking, but part of me was actually a little excited because that meant there was someone else out there like me (for the most part – the dating ship sailed a long time ago). No longer was I some mythical, sparkly unicorn alone in a world full of stallions and asses (yes, I said asses…after trying online dating and the slim pickings that are left over once you reach a certain age, that’s the only word that adequately describes some men you will encounter). But right there in front of me, in print, was someone else who had the guts to actually share her real self with the world. This blog is about as close as I’ll ever likely to get to her courageousness in putting something so personal out there.

It’s been two full decades since I sat in a Wednesday chapel service in 7^th grade listening to someone talk about Godly and ungodly relationships. We were each handed two hearts; a blue heart and a pink heart glued together. At the end of the message, the speaker then asked us to remove the pink heart from the blue heart without leaving anything behind. After much trying, it was evident that the task before us was impossible. The two hearts could not be removed from one another without tearing and leaving pieces behind on the other heart. Once those hearts separated, they would never be whole again.

This example, of hearts intertwining in a relationship, really stuck with me, and obviously two decades later still does. I wish this analogy could be used with every young person before they reach the age of dating. Will it save everyone from heartache? No. My heart was still broken in high school. But it only took one painful time to know that wasn’t something I wanted to do again. I knew I only had one heart to give and I wanted to give as much of that as is possible to the man God has for me. I just wish I could yell it from the rooftops to today’s youth that the old adage of ‘Practice Makes Perfect’ is a lie straight from hell.

I’ve been listening to my favorite ministry tape series this week on my lunch breaks. It’s amazing how much they still minister to me. For 13 years these tapes about Godly friendships, relationships, and marriages have spoken to me, at different points in my life, new rhema words from God every time.

In 2001, a precious pastor from Australia did a marriage seminar at our church. At that time I was just coming out of a nasty breakup – my only real breakup to this day. I was young, and completely naïve. I had spent two years dating on and off again with ‘D’, but more importantly, I was head over heels in love with him. Well, I was in what I thought at that time in my life was “love” – it was anything but love.

Now, at 32, I look back to my 17-19yr old self and thank God for His protection on me at that point in my life. When I broke up with ‘D’ for the last time in 2001, using a few choice words, I was devastated and my self-worth was non-existent. He knew I had made a decision to save sex for marriage. But somehow, by God’s grace and mercy, he never once pushed me to change my mind. It was absolutely a God thing, because at that age, and as in love as I thought I was, I would have probably caved quickly. Sounds like a great guy, right? I mean he wasn’t pushing me to sleep with him or anything. Well, that’s what I thought too until Christmas vacation when he went to visit his dad. It didn’t take long, once he was back, for the rumors to make their go around. He wasn’t pressuring me for sex because he was getting it elsewhere. Over his vacation, his father had bought him a prostitute.

Feeling absolutely worthless and undesirable, with the rug yanked from under my feet, I turned to those ministry tapes. I turned to God. I truly believe, with every fiber of my being, that not only did God completely protect me in that situation, but He then hid me away to save me from any further heartache, to save me for my husband one day (FYI God, I’m ok if You are ready to unhide me).

I hear stories now from other friends of things that were happening in our circles at that time, and in the years to follow, and know that God kept me from all of that to protect my heart. Our hearts are far too fragile to be spreading them out, leaving pieces of them behind with each failed relationship.

Listening to the tape series this time (the millionth time), I heard something this week with a new revelation. Dating and breaking up over and over again is nothing but practicing for divorce. Practicing for divorce!

Frankly, I used to be ashamed to admit my inexperience in the dating world; my inexperience in all things really. My good friends can testify to me being the most awkward flirter ever – I either come across as super friendly or a bitch. But you know what? I’m ok with the inexperience (and trust me it’s taken a long time to own up to that – it’s a conscious, daily effort at times). Practice might make perfect when it comes to learning a new instrument or playing a sport, but practicing relationships with the wrong people will never amount to anything perfect by God’s standards!

I think deep down this is why I knew from the start with ‘T’ a couple of years ago that things weren’t right and he wasn’t the ONE. Oh, but “you should still go on a date with him, it never hurts getting in a little dating practice”. I think I can hear God laughing now. I knew then that I didn’t want to ‘date around’, but it took an abscess and a root canal (literally) to get my mind focused on staying the course, WITHOUT practice. God, if you’re reading:

If I ever end up in that boat again (which I never plan to), would you mind giving me a sign that isn’t so costly to my bank account? I’d be forever grateful.
Yours Truly, Gertie

So, here God, take my heart. It’s yours till you see fit to give it to the husband you have for me. No more practicing for failure and practicing for divorce. I’m setting my sights on You and on Your perfect plan. Experience or not, I’d rather fumble my way through life with the right ONE man God has for me than be some expert at it all with a lot of torn up hearts left behind. My ‘Never Have I Ever’ list might be really (REALLY) long, but that’s ok. It’s time to stand up, be proud, and take ownership of that list.

Are You There God? It’s Me, Gertie.

When I started blogging two and half years ago, this is not the place I ever expected to take it. If you know me, then you know, humor is my MO. Sarcastic humor, none-the-less. It’s how I cope with things, especially when I feel uncomfortable – it’s a wall I could put up. And on the cusp of my 30th birthday, with the pressure to try online dating one more time, writing a blog about it seemed to be the logical next step. I mean because the first two times I tried it, it was so successful. See there’s that sarcasm again.

But there are only so many funny encounters with online dating you can write about before it just becomes negative. And becoming negative is a slippery slope into bitterness. That’s the slope I was falling down over the last two years. Falling might not be the right word – sledding down on a rocket, at super-sonic speed, might be more accurate. It didn’t really hit me, that that’s what I was doing though, until Berta and I talked one night and she expressed her concern in not wanting to see me become the bitter, single 30something girl. We’ve both seen that girl in a story before, and trust me, it doesn’t end well…That girl? She’s now a 40something bitter, single girl.

All I knew, coming out of that conversation, was that I did not want to become that girl. Bitterness is the quickest way to let go of your dreams, and letting go of my dreams is the one thing I can’t do. Why is that? Because I know God loves me enough to see those dreams He placed in my heart become a reality. So I did what my heart and soul know to do best; I cried out to God, asking if He was still there – still in the middle of it all – because I didn’t feel like He was.

There is a song that always seems to come to my mind in times like this: Storm – by Lifehouse
………”I know You didn’t bring me out here to drown, So why am I ten feet under and upside down? Barely surviving has become my purpose, Because I’m so used to living underneath the surface. If I could just see You, Everything would be all right, If I’d see You, This darkness would turn to light. And I will walk on water. And You will catch me if I fall. And I will get lost into Your eyes. And I know everything will be alright………”

That song exactly summed up how I felt, and had felt for more than two years now. But all I kept thinking about was how friends had all told me that I needed to find contentment in my singleness.

Contentment?! Obviously none of them had been single in their 30’s. Why should I be content with something I know is not God’s best for me?

But then, God.

Just as He had been telling me all these years to “wait“, He reminded me of what he spoke to my heart sitting in service at the Southwest Believers Convention in 2013 and I knew it wasn’t about finding contentment in being single, it was about finding who I was in Him.

Matthew 6: 32-33 (NLT)
“These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs. Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.”

God still has some work to do with me…I’ve got to learn to listen to Him and obey the first time He tells me something. I’d save myself a lot of heartache in the end for sure. But this time (I’m not going to lie, it’s the second time around), I obeyed and stepped way out of my comfort zone. And what have I been rewarded with? CONTENTMENT! and excitement and anticipation and happiness! I have found that I have a new excitement about church again, an anticipation of what God has in store for my future, and in general a new happiness that I know now can only be found when you seek God first.

So look for a lot more posts like this. Luke 6:45 “…out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks…” or in my case, the fingers type and boy, oh boy, do I have a lot more to type. All in due time, dear readers. All in due time. Gertie is letting go of any negativity and bitterness and letting God’s contentment take over.

Cannonball Faith

Ever have a time in your life where you took a big risk? A leap of faith?

I’m in the middle of one of those “leaps” right now. But have you ever felt opposition hit you head on as soon as you take that faith step?

Sometimes I wonder if the moment we take that first step, a big, flashing sign goes off in hell reminding Satan to try his best to keep us from taking one more step. It can be physical opposition or it can be mental. Sometimes our minds can be our own worst enemy when it comes to living a life by faith.

Trust me here, I’m preaching to the choir on this – I need it more than anyone right now as I have quickly realized that taking a leap of faith is both the scariest and most thrilling thing ever.But It’s easy when you take a leap and don’t see immediate results to feel like that leap was a failure. However, you only risk it becoming a failure if you let fear take hold. That’s when I ended up texting a trusted friend, asking “Have you ever taken a leap only to feel like it was more of a belly flop?”

Her response? “No leap is ever a flop if it’s done in faith.”

Have I mentioned before I have some of the best, Godly friends in the world? I can’t imagine doing life with out such people to turn to.

So I began really thinking about faith in my every day life and started thinking of “leaps” we take every day. You may not fervently seek God in prayer over every little thing you do in your day, but just leaving your home each morning is a step of faith if you really think about it. Yes, some steps and leaps are bigger than others. But to God, THEY’RE ALL THE SAME!

His word says in Luke 17:6 (NIV), “He replied, “If you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mulberry tree, ‘Be uprooted and planted in the sea,’ and it will obey you!”

Faith as small as a mustard seed…that’s really small in case you were wondering. Like minuscule. And I’ve got at least that much faith. I wasn’t saved at the age of 4 and have grown up in church and ministries to not at LEAST have that much faith. So then I began thinking to myself, if I don’t question those little faith steps every day because I trust so wholeheartedly in my faith, then why am I even questioning the big leaps? I have enough faith to take on the biggest of leaps!!

And that’s when Facebook spoke to me.

Has that ever happened to you? Just when you need it most, someone posts something or shares something that is just what you need to hear (or read). Some people might be opposed to social media, but I kind of love it for reasons just like this.

“Many of you are being violently fought by the enemy because he sees what your future holds. Think of the good that will follow, and don’t let a challenge intimidate you. God is GREATER than your GREATEST opposition.”

It really hit me then; I not only have enough faith to take the biggest of leaps and not worry about failing, but I serve a God who is bigger than EVERYTHING!

So be encouraged in His word and in your faith. You might not think it’s very big or that you can stand up against whatever you might be facing, but you can!

(Fair warning. I like analogies. So just go with it.)

It takes faith to jump from a diving board. Oh boy do I know that to be true…you’re talking about a girl here, who can’t stand the thought of water deeper than her 5’3″ height – although I love snorkeling, so go figure that one. Back to the diving board. If you are on the diving board and getting ready to take that big leap, and of course the only way to do it is to do it BIG, so you decide to do a cannonball. You take a step back before taking off, jumping, and tucking your knees to your chest. That cannonball is about to be the most successful cannonball ever as long as you don’t let fear take hold of you. When you let fear take hold in the middle of that cannonball, you let go of your grip, and most likely end up in a painful belly flop (or side flop, or back flop, but a flop none-the-less).

What does all of that mean? Have CANNONBALL FAITH!!! An all-in mentality. Let go of your fear and take hold of your faith and before you know it, you won’t just be doing cannonballs anymore, you’ll be stepping out and doing your own Peter walk on the water!!